There are many faces of joy in female friendships. I have found that it is only young women who say “most of my friends are men”. As you age, you really begin to appreciate the women in your life, the friends and sisters and mothers and daughters around you, and this is such a good thing, because birds of a feather really do flock together, and friends chose one another because they resonate something in one another. I believe that as a woman the best type of friend I can have is the kind of woman that makes me feel comfortable being more of me, even if this ‘me’ is different to ‘her’ in some ways. Friends are the family that you get to choose, so I’ve always told youngsters to choose wisely because if you don’t have someone who will respect your worldview whilst being supportive, you may find that you waver and start to follow those friends rather than your own convictions. Now that is a one way ticket to Compromise Country, and you will never be truly happy compromising who you are.
Every woman will recognise that friendships have their seasons. As much as we wish it was all stable and lovely, some friendships stand the test of time through drama, isolation, pain, joy, etc. and some friendships come into our lives for a set period of time and then one day fade they away and you don’t even know why. I’ve learnt to accept that. Once I had a phone stolen and lost all my contacts. All of them. (Back in the earlier days of mobile phone technology there were no clouds to back up anything except a storm.) The experience taught me that those who really matter are those who will somehow find their way back, through thick and thin. I also learnt that they are usually very few, and that that’s okay.
Note: I’m not talking about friendships that lead to betrayals because those we never really friendships, just pretence, I’m talking about the stand-beside-you-bury-the-dead-and-celebrate-the-joy kind of friendship. You’ve got to cotton on early to those types of energy vampires and send them packing because you do have a right to pick the colours in your friendship pallet.
Here’s to those who’ve stuck around!
Take a moment to look through these pictures; I hope they make you smile and remember some sister/mother/daughter who stood beside you, laughed with you and brought out that gentler gender side of your soul, or helped you get mad, and then get over it ..