Sometimes so much has happened that you can’t see the proverbial “wood for the trees.” Sometimes, it takes a little help to step back long enough to make a decision about moving forward.
If so much has happened that you’re thinking of quitting your job, up and moving, shifting province or even ending a long standing relationship, do yourself a favour and go gently. Change, after so much stress, can make you feel empowered; but too much change can leave you feeling empty and trying to find yourself. That can open up a whole other bag of challenges that may see you more stressed than you started out.
Here’s a tip: Draw yourself a Decision Making Table as follows: ( I have often found this to work)
*make a list of those things you’d like to change and write them down in column A
*work through the reasons why you want to change each one by just thinking through each one
*in column B next to those things you want to change, place a priority category – on a scale of 1 to 10, how badly do you want to move house, sell the cars, buy the store, take the job, etc etc down the line. 1 refers to “it can wait” and 10 refers to “Its an immediate priority” or “My sanity depends on it”.. (sanity is always a good reason for change!)
*in column C after that, write down on a scale of 1 to 10, how easy it would be to do each one. For example if you want to move, consider things like if you’ve seen a house you like, if houses are available in the area you want, or if its about work, the affordability of quitting that job, the salary/location/stability of the new one, etc, etc. In this scale, 1 is “its really hard to do this, it will take a lot of time” because of various factors, and 10 is “its easy peasy japoneesy, its practically done”..
*in the last column, determine the time it would take to effect the change, where 1 is “quick as snap crackle and pop” and 10 is “this may take a year or more”
*now tally up each “line”… you may be surprised at what you see..
Last step – consider the emotional weight of each one. That may wipe out the entire table, but you may be able to see those trees and make a more rational choice for yourself..
In anything you choose, remember that respect for others is important too. Only that way can you create a beautiful life that radiates kindness and joy within and to others.