Okay, so its time to lay this out there. Many women i have helped or counselled over the years complain that there is nobody they can trust, that the women they should be able to turn to are in fact the same ones selling them down the river.
It seems that between money and make-up, there’s a whole lot of flakey, hypocritical wanna-be’s out there who hide between double standards; they appear quite spiritual in their own faith, (at least on the outside) and yet are very, very quick to apply a completely different set of rules to themselves from those they apply to everyone else. Money doesn’t make someone bad, but when money and appearances override everything that’s wholesome, becoming an excuse for permissiveness or downright cruelty, then that’s a problem.
It never ceases to amaze me that these “immaculate” women who supposedly epitomise their culture (whatever that may be) or their faith (whichever they have chosen) are the self same women who wield an air-brush for make up on the one hand, and a knife in the other to cut out the hearts of those they should be protecting. Essentially what I’m saying is there are too many pretentious barbies out there covering up for one another’s dirty little secrets that are giving honest, warrior-hearted, truly beautiful women a bad name and a hard time.
In this silly season where barbie is so fashioable on the shelves, watch out for these vipers obcessed with themselves. – Narcisism also exists in friendships.. It truly angers me to see such pretentious pastic flakes making difficult the lives of women who work hard, strive hard, live with integrity and kindness. No wonder so many women i’ve worked with are bordering on bitter!
So here’s a flake checklist for you:
- She is obcessed with external looks; make-up, nails, shoes, hair, and especially brands and has very little tolerance for those who can’t catch up with either her spending or her latest style
- She often brands herself as an epitome of motherhood/sisterhood/spirituality/leadership but has very little substance to back this up, flip flopping and cherry picking those beliefs that back up her latest trends
- She will defend her plastic sisterhood to the death as long as they adore her as their leader, but turns on them with the poison of a viper if anyone so much as questions her leadership and expertiese as the epitome of Elegance
- She is actually hollow, insecure and her apparent superiority hides a vicious person that loves to gossip, is eager to tell you to stand up for yourself and instigate the anger and frustration in you but never stops to calm you, to reassure you or to be simply KIND
- She seeks out the limelight; everyone needs to follow her
- She stops at nothing to ensure that she and only she is the one that everyone follows, respects and adores
- Only money earns you credibility in her eyes; intelligence or education reminds her of her actual inferiority and real external beauty is a threat- she normally doesn’t have either of those herself despite her many claims to fame..
- She watches every move you make to see if it conforms to whatever standard she is currently upholding, but she shifts her own standards depending on what will make her look good
Sounds like a childhood game, doesn’t it? But it isn’t. This is the type of woman you do NOT need in your life. If you have one of these as a friend or confidant; don’t just walk away – RUN. There is nothing but hollowness in everything they say, their support is just a farce for the laughter that will no doubt ring out the moment you hit on hard times or fail to show your unwavering, robotic support of her every thought. This social butterfly is anything but – she is a social wasp, thriving and loyal only so long as she is “in charge” of the group of hornets she keeps close to her bosom; any sign of your own thinking or decision making will have you in the cold.
I’ve seen women destroyed by these wasps and have seen men’s self esteem annihilated. When men complain about abusers, believe me, they DO exist. When women have complained to me that they simply stuggle to feel good enough, there is usually one of these types of women in the background pretending to be a friend until someone doesn’t agree with their particular set of rules.
So – Chose your company carefully in the new year. It’s relatively easy to disarm one of these vipers; be true to yourself, refuse to compromise your standards and stay faithful to the spiritual foundations you have given your heart to regardless of their compromise. They may get angry, and cut your out of their circle – thank your lucky stars and redirect your energy to wholesome people who are real and not full of themselves.
Because it’s true – some people are so ugly on the inside that even if they eat all the make-up in the world, they will always be ugly at heart. You can’t fix an ugly heart even with plastic surgery..
Wishing you all a wonderful 2015 with good friends, wholesome support and real kindness.