Firstly, greetings to one and all and best wishes for the new year. Here’s to a wonderful 2015!!
The topic today is about assumptions. So many relationships are broken because people assume that they know what the other person means, yet they have chosen to interpret what is being said rather than take it at face value; people read into things all the time – your body language, your facial expression, your tone. Just as you wouldn’t like to be held responsible for something that you do not intend to convey, grant a little kindness by asking for clarity directly and simply but kindly with the words; “what did you mean?”
It’s easy to assume that your friends are gossiping when you walk into a room and they stop talking. But a simple “hi, why the silence when I walked in guys?” spoken with kindness will quickly reveal the truth that maybe one was confiding in another about something unrelated to you, or they will call you closer to share the secret. See how simply that situation was difused.
So what does it take to disarm suspicion? Kindness enough to ask. You will soon see if people are lying by their discomfort and either way your doubts will be erased.
The same principle applies in relationships. If your special other says something to you and you don’t know what he means, ask. Unless there are pre-existing problems in the relationship, you will find that the approach encourages communication if spoken in the right way. If you come in guns blazing “what the hell do you mean by that” you are going to get them assuming that you are in attack mode and the explanation won’t come as readily.
So this year, let’s start it with kindness. No resolutions on this page, no siree, just a request that we ASK when we don’t know what is meant, that we ASK when we think people are being two-faced. This is different to confrontation, so the pressure is off on those who don’t like confrontation. It’s a simple request for clarity.
And it works.