The topic of love and money is a sensitive one. With roles changing and many people opting to live together rather than get married, the issue of money often crops up in relationships. Women in particular tend to be taken for a proverbial ride quite often because our nature is such that love, for us, spans every area of our life. We will do without, help out, and generally accommodate our special other in such a way that they never have to feel unloved, unwanted or insufficient. But in some instances the envelope is pushed to far..
Lena trusted her boyfriend only to find out that he had an outstanding debt for a previous car. So, to help him out she gave him her car in exchange for his classier model, and paid him the difference. With that difference he would then pay off his debt. Lena subsequently married John, and within two months received notification for an outstanding bill, in the mail. The bill was for the car. Instead of paying off his debt, he had used the money to eat out with friends. She should’ve heard the warning bells but once again love being as blind as a baseball bat (not the flying bat kind!) she decided that he should be forgiven for such foolish behaviour and they moved on. She put up the capital for them to start a business together and opened a joined account. Within 5 years they were bankrupt and he didn’t have the courtesy to tell her. He had secretly been taking out loan after loan to cover debt whilst buying cars and a home and furnishing it with all the latest gadgets. The story is meant to illustrate not that men can’t be trusted, because many can, but that love can get in the way of sane and rational decisions. Before putting up the capital for the business Lena should’ve had some proof that he had in fact become more responsible. 12 years later, she is sadly still stuck paying off his debt whilst he is off damaging another life.
Sam, on the other hand, married a very demanding woman, who couldn’t spend fast enough, and then used the children to emotionally blackmail him into thinking that his commitment to provide a bottomless pit of luxury should never end. Sam, out of love for his children, still battles to understand the difference between pressure and obligation, and that CHOICE and rational thinking needs to come first.
To those ladies thinking of setting their boyfriends up in business, a word of caution; as with any business relationship, assess your risk first. Once you are married and there is a commitment, things are easier to manage as a twosome because the commitment is real. This can provide some sense of security but still do the necessary assessments to be sure that the business is worth it.