The message today is a simple one; stop listening to what people say about you, stop trying to please the masses; you will never be happy that way. Ask yourself what and who makes you happy and then don’t allow yourself to be manipulated into abdicating even one moment of that happiness for the sake of “what people will say”. What people may say may be the only thing you have to live with if you keep lending out your ears at the risk of selling your soul…
Angela (name changed) fell pregnant three years ago. Her boyfriend had just left her and she felt it only right to let him know that she wanted nothing from him at all; no financial support, nothing. She merely wanted him to know because she thought that this was the right thing to do. She was prepared for the hardship of being a single mom and took the child in her womb as a gift from heaven. She was prepared to raise the child alone and never give a second thought to hardships as long as the child would be able to know that somewhere there was a father who at one point had cared about the mother.
Alas, society has not evolved as it would like us to think it has. At grassroots Angela fought the many messages of hatred spewing forth towards her as though she had willed herself to be pregnant or trapped the boy into getting her pregnant. Her attitude of “i want nothing from you but to let you know because it’s your right” was honourable, was correct, and yet her kindness could not be tolerated (as kindness often isn’t and is usually torn apart) and so her words were twisted around. She was harassed continuously and many times it was demanded and even threatened that she put an end to the pregnancy. There came a point where she began to wonder if having the baby was the right choice; after all, nobody wanted the child, nobody wanted to remember that a happy relationship had actually existed, because greater than the existence of the child was the “community pride”.
Right about now you should be angry. I was. A community who will insist on oppression of anyone, particularly an unborn baby, should not get to have a say. Their “wish” should not even be considered because a community is made up of many individuals and every individual must give account to God (however they see him) if not to their own conscience.
Angela staved the course. She took her vitamins, drank her water and did what she could to shelter her child so that she could raise it with love (even though the child’s father would never be a participant in her life).
Unfortunately, the child never made it to full term. I for one firmly believe that the unkindness of these “righteous wanna be’s” reached into the mother’s soul with such force that it killed the unborn child. For months she had wrestled with the messages, her thoughts about who was saying what had plagued her, depressed her,made her swing from wanting to live to wanting to not be her anymore. I believe that the unkindness of others (be it direct abuse or by proxy) can wither away any great love, any great joy, and any potential for happiness.
So if you are reading this today and you have been listening to the nay-sayers who would steal your happiness, do the opposite and PRIORITISE it. Communities are not God. They are not the Law. They are not your LIFE. But if you lend your ears out often enough, they can take your happiness, they can steal your joy, and they can buy out your very soul.
RIP little one. This is a remembrance to you and a word of encouragement to your mother; may we all be ever so bold as she that we stand up for justice and LIFE – to the death if need be. And may we stop lending out our ears to the naysayers before it’s too late…