Many relationships fall apart. Many people have affairs. Many people live lonely, empty lives whilst surrounded by everything money could buy; a shell of existence. They fill their lives with “lots” of “little” . The question is, why?
Because it’s easier than to wait to gain or recapture the real thing. It really is as simple as that.
So women have complained to me that men are jaded, don’t listen, aren’t romantic, just don’t take initiative or reply to text and email messages with one or two syllables “if you’re lucky to get a whole word out of them”. And other women say their men see them as verbose, overbearing, confusing even and they just don’t understand why their men would say that. But the differences are what actually complements one with the other. When it’s the right person.
You see, when you’re young, you think that you will connect with many people; it is only when you are much older that you realize that the real connections (be they in friendship or love) are very few, very rare, and truly to be treasured and nurtured and protected.
The real issue with relationships in a world where we are becoming increasingly technologically connected is the absence of real companionship, the kind that is formed at the heart and at the soul and in the mental plane. In our human frailty we don’t always think that a LIFETIME is a short time, we think it’s too long, too scary, we want things now like the consumers that we’ve become so in our thirst for the now we forget the real and we forget how important being connected really is.
We try to impress where we should try to just BE. Those who accept and value you when you are just BEING you are those who deserve to get to be with you.
Soulmates and companions are rare. They should be. Just like precious jewels aren’t knocking around in the streets, precious people are not a dime a dozen, cannot be picked up at a bar once the glass is full and will probably not be found among the type of people that you don’t resonate with at soul level. The precious ones will handle you with care and with respect and kindness. These people will know exactly when you need a call, a “script for the day” or just a hello.
When you connect, really connect it is a truly special thing and it will transcend time, space, distance and even age because you know you’ve found someone with whom the broken bits don’t matter and the oddball moments of silliness actually make sense. The person who gets you in that quiet pause where you look at each other and you know you’re on the same page. The person who pauses and without saying a word you know they have heard you, truly HEARD you. This is not someone you have to walk around eggshells with, you can just let your hair down with because it just seems the most natural thing to do. They remind you of where you came from and they show you all the potential you have, and then they go right ahead and encourage you in finding more of yourself and reaching more of your potential. And they do that all right beside you, without skipping a beat.
So when you find that, hold on. It doesn’t matter how long you have to wait, when it’s real it really and truly is forever. Because whether you believe it or not (in your human frailty) the day will come when you know that all that time when you wondered if the other person really did see things the way you do, when you doubted yourself or felt silly for being so vulnerably you; all that time they were on the same page, you just didn’t realise it.
You may find this connection with certain friends; if you are willing to be one open to such connections. When one woman tries to bring another woman down all she achieves is to reveal herself as unworthy and rather a waste of time.
So here’s the scoop; when you find that special companionship connection you will know. In friendship or in love don’t run because it’s too intense, don’t clam up because you’ve been hurt before and don’t wait for the other person to take initiative. Just be You.
Remember, time is like a river, you will never cross the same waters twice, the waters keep on shifting, time passes, and only real connections stand the test of time.